Kelsey Kaufman

I’m getting ready to go to this super-fancy wedding in Bahrain in two weeks, and I brought my two gown choices to work to have the girls help me decide which to wear. One of them, utterly gorgeous, was a chocolate brown Angel Sanchez with a plunging v-neck and a tapered skirt. And the skirt it fit me exactly like the casing on a sausage…. No fear though, because I’m lucky enough to work at NY’s premier couture bridal atelier, and the seamstresses are my friends! I’m sure we could find a bit of ease in the seams, and I could surely stick to salads for a few weeks, right? The other gown option, also fantastic, was a smoky turquoise, organza, strapless Lian Carlo that zips up perfectly right now. I was kind of thinking of it as my “back-up” dress if I couldn’t cleanse a few pounds off / find a few more inches in the seams of the Sanchez.

Awesome Now vs. “Perfect” Later

After bringing in the big guns (Eva, our alterations manager, and Debbie, a genius seamstress,) I was still at a crossroads. We concluded that, yes, we could definitely get enough out of the seams that I could wear the dress in 2 weeks, and the other one just needed some cups sewn in to be perfect. It was really up to me.

Back in the office, Debbie was offering around some Trader Joe’s “Everything” crackers- my favorites! I took 3, knowing that the chocolate dress would show any kind of water retention or bloating, and then thought, “What am I doing to myself?”

Choosing To Be Happy Now

I have learned through years of pink ballet tights that I am not happy on a diet, and this just seemed to be another roundabout way of telling myself that I would be so much more fabulous if I just fit into that chocolate brown dress. What’s the big deal? My husband is not even going to be at the wedding! Who was I trying to show off for? It’s a muslim celebration so it will be all women. So what if I go with the slightly-less-sexy option and opt for being fabulous right now? That thought swept the cloud right off my shoulders! I grabbed a few more of the TJ’s crackers and enjoyed the heck out of the rest of my day!

I’m usually pretty good at keeping a sunny disposition, but I’ve had a cloud over my head for the past two days. I’ve felt like Pigpen from Peanuts, followed by a messy, dismal halo no matter what I did. PMS? No, thankfully, I don’t really get that. Swine Flu? Don’t think so… I think that’s why it caught me so off-guard to be in such a funk for two whole days. It amazed me when I realized it was because I was tricking myself into thinking that I wasn’t _(fill in the blank with your favorite shortcoming)_enough to feel completely fantastic about myself right now. As a sales manager at a bridal atelier, I give these kinds of pep talks all the time! But how quickly we forget our own good advice!!!

I skipped home, and picked up my husband a gift just because I was so glowy remembering that he loves me exactly how I am right now. I was thinking about getting him flowers, but realized that’s what I would love him to surprise me with. So, I decided on a dinosaur origami set instead.